New Hobbies #2

On holidays, I seem to do things that I otherwise wouldn’t. On the other hand, during holidays I can’t seem to keep up doing the things I usually do, like blogging and thinking about war. This series of blog posts is an attempt at combining the two state of affairs, by blogging in short bursts about things I’ve been doing that I don’t usually do.

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Another thing I rarely do outside of holidays is read beauty magazines (but no, it’s not because they make me feel ugly; it’s because I object to their existence, more or less as a matter of principle). Even on holidays, by “read” I generally mean I look at the pictures and sigh in boredom. On this occasion though, I came across a November edition of Harper’s Bazaar, with Miranda Kerr on the cover, in which there was an article about the one-piece, featuring pictures of Loren, Taylor, Fawcett, Basinger and MacPherson. You’ve probably all heard about my moonwalker – it’s a long time since I got that much pleasure out of a piece of clothing, and so this article at first glance interested me, since it was about one woman’s search for the perfect one-piece. Actually, she sets her sights somewhat lower – the writer says her bathers simply have to flatter her pear shape, and make her feel “foxy”.

Spoiler: she ends up with a cream “Marilyn Monroe sort of swimsuit – sexy, but with its miracle-working halter neck, slightly retro too”, as well as “a fantastic one-shoulder snake-print suit with subtle boning on the bust-line” which “will look great by the pool or for lunch with my tobacco-colored flares”.

The power of holidays is not so strong that I’m suddenly able to blog about fashion, though, so the only other comment I’m going to make about the article is an unusually critical one: cross my heart, it is the worst article I can ever remember reading. The weird thing is, there wasn’t anything particularly bad about it, nothing I could put my finger on. The problem was more that everything about it was bland and unexciting, from the B-grade celebrity name-dropping to the complete lack of humour in the writer’s tone. Nor did it have any redeeming features – apart from, if I’m being self-centred, inspiring this post, and thus somewhat validating the 20 minutes it initially stole from my life.

- or (to continue this critical tone)

…and thus continuing the cycle of discontent, by leading me to steal 5 minutes of your time, with this equally mediocre post. Zing!

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